How Ms. CoCo became our friend that night and the afternoon after

When we want to cuddle her with words, we call her the lady with the wall. The wall reference is essential because we first became friends on the night when she asked for a wall. It wasn’t the wall that made us become friends, although it was a good metaphor. First of all, she was very drunk. As being wasted goes, she couldn’t stand on her own, hence the wall reference. She’s very tall for a woman, so the wall needed to be significant as well. Just her luck, we were in an actual house. Secondly, this guy she was chasing had just left the party with someone else. Why she was chasing him was a mystery to me, but it could have been her wall fetishism showing early signs. He was tall, Polish square, and about as responsive to outside stimuli as a block of concrete when you bring up the pros and cons of chocolate cake. Yes, that type.

We became friends that night for the same two reasons. One, she was wasted, and it’s much easier to get used to someone when they’re acting stupid. They’re no threat. Of course, if they continue being wasted or acting stupid it may become embarrassing, so you may be tempted to keep them as closet friends. Luckily, Ms. CoCo got herself together the afternoon after, despite the headache, and we started parading her to the world. Second, she was suffering of unrequited sexual desire. Which in petty minds like ours always raises the question of what is wrong with you. It is quickly replaced with the much more acceptable let me be there for you. Therefore Ms. Coco became our friend that night and the afternoon after because she let us be her wall. I don’t know if you’ve ever paid attention to walls, but look around you and you’ll see they only really exist in terms of what is leaning on them. What makes us special in the league of walls are our opinions on chocolate cake.